“I was falling in love with God through pain, caring less and less what others thought of me” – Sara H. (pg 83)
I have battled through what other people thought of me, that people pleasing battle and self-image, that pride kept me from surrendering to Jesus for a long time. Boy am I selfish, my selfishness has tried to manipulate situations and people, my selfishness has put myself before my Savior. Lord, forgive me. I am thankful for His grace.
For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16
This chapter is all about being or becoming uncovered, embracing vulnerability. Talking of Mary (pg 85) “Hers was extravagant devotion. Adoration with God alone in mind. She chose to be vulnerable before the one who already knew her deepest longings. And Jesus called her vulnerability beautiful.” This is tough, we don’t want to admit that we are hurting, that we are in need, that we sin. But it is in vulnerability that we grow closer to Jesus. I don’t want to be invulnerable, I want God to work in my life and I realize that when I don’t get real with Him that I get stuck. Our admission of sin and need for Him changes us, it opens our hearts up to His healing and mending, His strengthening and power.
Vulnerability requires both carefulness and prayer. Most of us have spent our lives avoiding the very thing that activates greater intimacy with God – this vulnerability before Him. Matthew 18:3 is a wise starting place for prayer. In it, Jesus says: “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” Pray it out like this: Lord, help. Help me to be like a little child before You … and all over again. Bring me back to the beginning, with You. Where I am open and openly hungry to receive You. Invite God into your most inward places.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Psalm 51:6
“Stop hiding from God. Come out, vulnerable and raw before Him with new strength. His strength. Sit at His feet and allow the warmth of His tender eyes to bore through you, to see what’s most vulnerable in you, and to respond to it.” (pg 98)